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INVENTING THE HOUSE I LIVE IN (DOGME95/1MANPLAY + 2-3V.O.)
By PolyD Flynt
In the midst of toxic psychosis, and chronic anxiety (transforming gradually into undiagnosed agoraphobia), a young product designer is trapped in his bedroom; torn between his hallucinatory existence, his overzealous monologues to no-one and his ambition to turn his ideas into actual physical/digital things - he must distinguish the real from the imagined- his own calculation is that his only hope is to create something real and put it out there - that the effect of his success in the material world could perhaps help him figure out how to simply go outside.
SYNOPSIS:
(looking for a director)
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1 person likes this
To make the logline pop even more, you can use vivid language, add urgency, and emphasize the character’s transformation. You want to create an image that resonates emotionally and captures the essence of the story. Here’s an enhanced version:
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Revised Logline:
"Trapped in a whirlwind of self-doubt, a socially anxious young product designer transforms his cluttered bedroom into a battleground of creativity, feverishly debating digital ideas with himself. As he battles the paralyzing fear of the outside world, he must confront his demons and embrace the exhilarating chaos of life beyond his door—or risk losing his passion forever."
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Key Enhancements:
"Trapped in a whirlwind of self-doubt":
Creates a dynamic visual of his mental state, emphasizing chaos.
"Cluttered bedroom into a battleground of creativity":
Paints a vivid picture of his environment and the conflict within it.
"Feverishly debating digital ideas":
Suggests urgency and intensity in his self-dialogue, making it more engaging.
"Paralyzing fear of the outside world":
Heightens the stakes and gives a clearer picture of his struggle.
"Confront his demons and embrace the exhilarating chaos of life":
This phrasing emphasizes transformation and growth.
"Risk losing his passion forever":
Adds a sense of urgency and stakes, making it clear that his creative life is on the line.
This version aims to create an emotional hook while emphasizing the internal and external conflicts, making the logline more compelling and engaging for the audience.
1 person likes this
I would love to see this come to life, by the way…
thanks that's really helpful will try to implement!
I'll work on it, I think it's getting there.